Our Story

One word. eHarmony.com. You read that right. You’ve seen the ads on TV. Now, we could be one. We tell all of our single friends to sign up for eHarmony.

Making the Connection

So, here is how it went down. Both of us have spent a fair time looking for “the right one”. We’d both gotten used to being asked when were going to settle down. But, neither of us were prepared to “settle”.

I had tried other online “matchmaking” services before, but found them to be the cyberspace equivalent of bars and other pick-up joints. From the moment I started filling out the questionnaire, I knew eHarmony was different. The questions made me really examine what I want and that forced me to be really honest with my answers. Kelly relates much the same experience.

At first, when relatively few matches trickled in, I thought I was getting a raw deal. “Darned expensive investment for so little return.” I thought. Boy, was I wrong. Soon, I noticed the extremely high quality of the matches. 95% of the matches were people with whom I felt I had something meaningful in common.

Off and on, I was on eHarmony.com for almost a year. I went out on several dates before connecting with Kelly. All of the women I met were interesting, compelling and most of all … genuine. Not all “sparked” but all had qualities I respected and admired. Then, I was matched with this cute readhead from Puerto Rico. The rest is history.

Kelly’s story is a little different. She had never tried online dating before, but had recently attended the wedding of friends Bart and Carroll who had met through Matchmaker.com. Shortly thereafter, one of Kelly and Hildi’s friends went through a bad break-up. While consoling their friend, Hildi suggested she try eHarmony.com. Their friend agreed, but wanted someone to do it with her. As Hildi was recently married, she volunteered Kelly.

Kelly had a similarly positive experience with eHarmony.com.She was matched with interesting, positive people. Then, Hildi says she picked me out for her. Thanks Hildi!

Finding Our Soulmate

Kelly and I were matched on October 12, 2004.

Within three weeks, we were speaking on the phone every single day and have been ever since. In addition to IM and the phone, we connected via webcam. Odd as it may sound, the webcam made our courtship more real. We would often have the webcam on while on the phone. This let us see one another laugh. And, we laughed a lot!

Almost immediately, we discovered that both of us are huge goofballs. Family and friends apparently knew this for years, but neither of us had fully embraced it as a selling point in previous romantic relationships. So, we “dorked out” and it was pretty darn freeing. And, so our relationship progressed over the next five months.

For those folks who think an Internet courtship is a bit odd, consider the following. Between photos and the webcam, we were pretty certain the physical chemistry would be there. And without a physical connection, we had to spend most of our time really getting to know one another. So, we spoke with a freedom neither of us had experienced before. In the process, we both discovered new things about ourselves while reaffirming that we had actually found the other person we’d sought for so long.

We were so confident we’d found the “right one”, that we were already talking about getting married for weeks before actually met in person. We joked that the only thing that would derail the love train was a weird odor or pheromone that repulsed us from one another. Needless, to say we both brushed out teeth and cleaned up really well before that first encounter.

Easing Everyone’s Minds

As fate would have it, Kelly had planned a trip to Las Vegas in February to visit Bart and Carroll and see Aspyn, their newborn baby. Hildi and Francisco, along with her Hildi’s parents were scheduled to come along as well. By this point, both of us had started telling folks that we were seeing someone and answering the inevitable questions about our ISO (Internet Significant Other).

On my side, folks took things pretty much in stride. Aside from being a big guy, I have plenty of personal and professional experience dealing with potentially unbalanced and dangerous people. So, folks figured if I was not concerned, they should not be overly concerned either. On Kelly’s side, there was justifiably more concern.

Though she’s lived abroad and travelled the world, she was still a woman coming to meet an unknown man in, of all places, Las Vegas … the city with the worst reputation for vice in the world, with the possible exception of Bangkok. To make matters worse, Hildi and Francisco and Hildi’s parents could not make the trip. So a few weeks before the trip, Carroll and Bart were enlisted to ensure I was not a kidnapper or an axe murderer. While we were disappointed that we would not have a private first meeting, we both wanted to do everything possible to put our families at ease.

As it turns out, no chaperone was required, but the conversations about it did prompt a very funny dream which I chronicled on my blog. If you are interested, read the transcript of my conversation with Senator Clinton.

Living “True Story, Swear To God”

One evening, I was breaking bread with Todd, a good buddy and fellow comic fan, when talk turned to women and romance. I started describing my then budding relationship with Kelly. When I finished, Todd smiled and said “Dude, you are living ‘True Story, Swear to God”. Puzzled, I asked him to explain.

Todd quickly provided a thumbnail sketch of “True Story, Swear To God: Chances Are”, a graphic novel by Tom Beland. “Interesting.”, I thought. Like Tom Beland, I sort of live on the West Coast (Las Vegas). And, like Lily Garcia, Kelly lives in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Still, at the time, I dismissed it as interesting and coincidental.

A few weeks later, we were at Alternate Reality (Vegas’ best comic book store), when Todd told Ralph, the owner, “Hey, Doug is living ‘True Story, Swear To God’”. My memory jogged, I asked Ralph if he had it in stock. He did, I bought it and, for about a week, it sat at the bottom of my stack while I found time to catch up on reading around a crazy work schedule.

When I finally found the time to crack open “True Story”, I did not put it down until I was finished. I called Kelly several times to read her passages. We laughed so hard we cried. So much of Tom and Lily’s story mirrors our; it is scary. Right down to:

HIM: “What is Coño!?

HER: “A word you never heard me say!”

I won’t bore you with all of the little things that are similar. Suffice to say, we are now both big fans of Tom Beland’s work.

Doesn’t Feel Like the First Time

Right around the New Year, we both knew we had something special and we knew that waiting until late February to actually meet would seem like eons. And, it did. We discussed ways we might get together sooner, but nothing seemed feasible. So, we had no choice but to grin and bear it.

We had the meeting and Kel’s visit planned to the letter. But since Murphy loves us, nothing worked out as planned.

I thought I’d have two solid weeks off, but two contracts came in that I could not turn away. So, we knew we’d have less time than we wanted together. On top of it, I had a meeting that ran way over that night. So, I we had to move back our scheduled meeting by two hours. Kelly was not too disappointed because it gave her more time to doll herself up after the long flight from San Juan. And, it ended up meaning that we would meet unchaperoned after all.

Finally, we had planned to meet at the Conservatory at Bellagio, world-famous for it’s romantic, flower-filled displays. Again, Murphy struck! That very afternoon, the conservatory was closed to visitors as they broke down the exhibit to prepare a new one. So, our romantic venue was filled with cranes and safety tape.

However, none of that mattered in the end. When we first laid eyes on one another … it was completely natural .. as if we were just reuniting after a long business trip. No foul odors that drove us away wretching … just hugs, kisses and big, stupid, goofy grins from ear-to-ear on both our faces.

Despite a significant health scare with my Mom (all is well now!), the rest of Kelly’s visit went smoothly. We got to spend a lot of time with my parents, who quickly fell in love with her themselves. Dad describes Kelly as “effervescent” and I could not think of a better word myself.

Among the highlights, we spent lots time with Bart, Carroll, Devon and Aspyn. Bart is a good friend of Billy (Kelly’s brother) from graduate school. Carroll now holds the distinction of being the first person to ever photograph us together, Thanks Carroll. We also got to spend time with Tavo, a long-time friend of Maco’s.

Kelly met Todd at our “Kevin Smith Film Festival” and played her first game of Texas Hold ‘Em and did well. But mostly, we laughed and acted like huge, schmoopie dorks. And, we decided for certain that we wanted to be married and we wanted it to happen as soon as possible. So, we started planning the big day.

Because they had already met Kelly, my folks were the first to hear. They were very happy for us. We did not think it was appropriate that we announce our intentions to her parents without anyone in her family having met me. So, we sat on it for a little over a month until I flew to Miami to meet most of the family at the christening of Camila Joan, Kelly’s niece.

Her family was exactly what I expected, warm and welcoming. I immediately felt at ease and at home amongst them. I already felt incredibly fortunate to have found Kelly, so her family is the proverbial icing on the cake.

In the weeks prior to our meeting for the first time, our friends would comment on how nervous they were for us and how surprised they were that we were not nervous at all. Strange though it may sound, there was never any nervousness … until we went to tell her folks about our plans. In that moment, like any suitor I suppose, my stomach turned to knots.

I knew that Kelly and I love one another truly and deeply. I knew that whatever I may give up with my bachelorhood will pale in comparison to what I will gain with Kelly as my wife. I knew Kelly would say “yes”. Finally, I expected her parents to give us their blessing. Word had slipped out and Rosadela, Kelly’s mom, had an idea that it was coming. Still, though I’d rehearsed 1000 ways to ask, I still stumbled a bit as we spoke with her parents that night. I guess some part of me was expecting Murphy to strike and rain on our joyful parade.

Luckily, Kelly had a couple of local Miami tough guys lock Murphy in the trunk of a car that night.

Her parents, like mine, were very happy for us. Not wanting to steal the thunder from Camila’s christening, we all agreed to keep it quiet for the weekend and just tell Kelly’s siblings privately. When we told Glori, Camila’s mom, she was ecstatic and told us to tell everyone; which we did. Glori then popped the cork on our first official bottle of champagne as an engaged couple. Kel still has the cork.

The rest of the weekend was spent celebrating Camila’s christening while getting to know my future extended family and helping them get to know me. It was a blast. It is Kelly’s turn in May when we head back to Cincinnati so she can meet my family and friends.

So, there you have it. A relatively concise accounting of the highlights of our very modern, yet still mildly unorthodox, courtship.

See you in Puerto Rico on July 30, 2005. Rumor has it two of the “cool kids” are getting hitched then. Wonder who they are?

Peace,

Doug